Recent discussions on the Bedford to Dover route have reached the Office of the Mayor of London, Boris Johnson.
Reviewing Brown and Lousada's fears of 'bike-jacking' - a new phenomenon common to the outlying suburban parklands of Erith and Swanscombe - Boris was swift to allay fears.
Speaking from the Mayoral Office overlooking the Belfast, Boris commented: 'These worry monkeys have little to fear given the recent fall in scrap values of recycled bike frames. The prevailing targets of these 'jackers are '70s Chopper and Raleigh bikes - prized for their heavier weight. Indeed, the Mayor's Office has honoured these chaps with an environmental award for the most ingenious source of scrap metal.'. Moving on to the proposed routing via Banbury, Norwich and Tilbury, the Mayor further added: 'Like a lot of this claptrap, Urban pedalphobia is a chattering classes buzzword towed by the bandwagon of yuppie-dom. It bores me immensely, and I have no hesitation in yawning widely and loudly at the Brown's route. Like his namesake, his policy of U turn and meandering is to be deplored'.
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