Monday, 29 March 2010

Easter jaunt!

As Wednesday or Saturday appears to have little concensus, I suggest we sit down at breakfast this Thursday for a CAST meeting.
I know Manfred and Simon are around at the weekend, so will try to coordinate a ride.
Bren

Saturday, 27 March 2010

Pizza and Easter ride:

The Chancellor and Stato would like a meet to run through alll the last bits and pieces now we have only some 7 and a bit weeks left.
Suggestion is Santaniellas on the Wednesday, but if enough of us are up for a 100 miler on Easter Sunday, we could have a post ride meeting chez McNulty with BBQ - Brookesey and Bretho could join us for that.
Is anyone fit enough? The Pikey has started an intensive training schedule, interrupted only by a trip to Twickenham yesterday and Wembley tomorrow - both unfortunately involving booze!
Rumours reach this reporter also of Gluten intolerance being the latest ailment to lay low the wigged one. Recommending a strict diet control of mixed nut kernels and tree bark, Dr Brookes has apparently relented and treated the wig in a holistic new medicine attempt to help stem Oakley's colonic problems.

Tuesday, 23 March 2010

Return to the saddle!

Following a long and painful rehabilitation, the pikey's knee is ready for road trials.
After a week on the pistes of France and Switzerland, supervised by the well known Swiss Holistic Therapy Guru - Dr Klaus von Pagliaro, the Basso was mounted in anger once again.
Despite elemental torment from rain and wind, and further a slow puncture in the first mile, trials were successful.
Commenting from the caravan park of Wooton Green, the Pikey one confirmed that miles could now start racking up. Unfortunately, the recuperative prescription of Dr Klaus for lashings of guinness and Tiroler grostl have done little to aid the fit of team cycling kit.
The Pikey rides again!!

Monday, 8 March 2010

German Spyclists


News comes from the National Office of Archives of pre-war spying, under the guise of youth cycle training rides, to plot every road and pathway in Britain. This prompts comparison with Brown's late night dissemination of the latest Michelin European Atlas. Who is his Master, and what plans for European Cycle Domination do they have?
Tanfred (as he is now called after his spray-booth palour at Brown's 60th), can be seen above, 3rd from right.

Wednesday, 3 March 2010

New equipment trials:

Eager to test his new 'equipment', Oakley insisted on company to cover any unforeseen eventualities.
Arriving at the Pikey Camp in Wootton Green close to 4.30 pm, things had to go right to avoid arriving back in the moonless dark of Monday evening.
Initial Campagnolo ease of use saw Oakley sashay to the base of Cranfiled hill without incident. Attempting a ring and gear change at the incline, he soon found himself unintentionally in the lowest gear - cadence rising to rival the pelvic rhythm of a Greek waiter pounding a Retsina-lubricated newly divorced social worker from Pontefract on holiday with the 'girls'.
Recovering himself, and refusing to admit confusion at the new gearing arrangement, we headed to the Ouse valley.
It was here that we met not one, but three separate floods. Faced with traversing the narrow flood walkway, Oakley bravely attempted to quell the rising fear catalysed by his twin aquapphobic and vertigo ailments - calmly juggling the mixture of facial tics, sphinctral lapses and sebaceous excretion whilst blindly tip-toeing through the rising waters.
Passing Carlton and Felmersham, Radwell proved the sternest test. Coping with the ravages of water and height, the challenge was compounded by the fiercely protective local wildlife.
Fearing attack by Oakley's hairpiece, the riled whoopers cob swan bravely defended it's lifelong mate - hissing and flapping in a frightening display. Showing little courage, Oakley's rug jumped clear and made use of a passing raft of branches, making a swift exit to the far bank of the floodplain.  The rider fared less well, blaming the lapping waters for the growing wetness to his Pearl Izumi padded shorts. A sad tale of enuresis!
Replacing his scalp-warmer, surely little else could happen? Wrong!
With night descending in dark waves, Oakley was guilty of riding first with no light (carelessly forgetting to fit the Catseye jumbo strap for the swollen front bars), and then no lights as he fell victim to the rollercoaster ride of the Milton Ernest potholes. Darting between the traffic, the rear light was recovered in pieces. Though the flashing beacon worked, the cover and mount were broken - Oakley riding the last few miles with the light in his rear pocket - appearing as some rabid animal having swallowed a belisha beacon.
Surely Oakley will never forget the first ride on his Basso!!