Rain stops play!

A remarkably sensitive side to the Eales was uncovered over the weekend when rain returned to the April skies.

Having - gleefully- helped his English Cousins celebrate the Saints Day of the combined Nations of Aragon, Catalonia, Ethiopia, Georgia, Greece, Lithuania, Palestine, Portugal - oh and England - training was excitedly arranged in the dark of the Park Inn.

Amazing, then, that with the advent of some light drizzle, the Eales texted his fellow Celt to cry off - doubtless fearing for his normally pristine weekend makeup. This elemental capitulation then quickly spread through the Marston Valley. Saenger had escaped to Derbyshire - Brown risked electrocution from his battery pack if venturing into the rain, and Simon Cocksedge never even appeared beyond the Mayoral boundaries, suspicion mounting of some pre-hustings support for Nadine Dorries!

Further alarming reports later reached this correspondent of the real reason for the cyclist no show: renowned International Chanteuse - Allessandra von Schweinsamme - has recently moved into a residence in Central Bedford. Her regular soprano scales ring out very Sunday morning from her garden, and if Eales scales his highest chimney pot, he can just catch sight of her - the better to appreciate her top notes - practising in the rain.
We can only hope that the fair weather cyclists do not encounter a light mist in France - surely extending the Cast ride by days if so!

Errant training:

Whilst extensive training was carried out in and around Bedfordshire over the Easter Holiday, news has reached this reporter of an altogether less savoury activity by two 'cyclists'.

Under the 'guise of a training ride down to Marlow - brazenly declaring this as the reason why they couldn't join the local training, news reports on the website of the Thames Valley Police tell a quite diferent tale.

Following intensve surveillance of the woods outside the Great Missenden School for young girls, arrests and subsequent cautions were recorded. Citing a navigational misunderstanding of his new Garmin device, Oakers and Stato were unable to give real cause why they were cycling directly behind the girls' shower block - following a torrid lacrosse game against Haberdashers Askes.

With a trial date set for May 27th, the team are relying on the inventive advocacy of Perry Mason to extricate this sorry pair in time for the 11.47 Channel crossing to CAST!

Final line-up:

All team members and helpers have now been declared. Despite an early congested field, there have been a few losers in the ante-post betting rooms. Following on from the infamous millinery incident of 2005, Ian 'five-chins' Bullerwell pulled out of entry when he realised he would be expected to start - and then finish the ride! Leaked details of a planned repetition of the doomed Lands End to Devizes ride of '68, with an Angelo Dundee inspired bearing failure outside Sangatte were headed off by the forensic evidence tabled at breakfast this week when an Oddbins pre-order was discovered dated for the 2nd day of the ride in the name of Mr Curmudgeon!

Final rider line up is concluded as:

• Stato

• Oakers

• Pags

• Perry Mason

• Slippery

• The Kaiser

• Flame

Ole Macdonald. Louse and Kav are following the route of either this team or alternatively Magellan in the hunt for the elusive North West Passage in 2011.

Helper line up is now finalised:

• Dr Love

• The Chancellor

• Mrs Oakers

• Louse's X5

• The Audinator

Mrs Oakers role is yet to be fully defined, but early veterinary training is bound to come in handy - debugging her husband's rug of waterboatmen and other like bug infestation.

With 54 days left, the race is on!